Another span of time has passed since my last blog, so much has transpired. On this Thanksgiving weekend, I am reminded of my deepest gratitude for the gifts of the Universe and Divine Mother’s blessings.

Perhaps you remember my July 2017 blog, I was working with becoming comfortable in the experience of uncertainty. Since that time, I have had many conversations with others challenged by the same prospect. We are all interconnected in our human growth and happenings. So how did your challenge of uncertainty work out? Are you still working on becoming comfortable in the unknown? Mine was blessed by Divine Mother yet once again.

Just as I grounded myself in the space of uncertainty mid-summer, everything shifted. An opening happened. This opening became a whirlwind. All that I had been so attached to fell away almost in a blink of an eye. My husband and I had decided late spring to take a pause on building our dream home, even though we had our permits and our general contractor was ready to begin. Costs on the island had skyrocketed again; it seemed the ease of putting our dreams into manifestation became a push. This left me with a deep sense of uncertainty …. Was I really supposed to live here at all? Had all our planning and the blessings bestowed upon us over the previous three years been leading to an unknown goal? I felt anger, disappointment, grief …. and uncertainty. Coming to a place of center once again mid-summer, embracing the uncertainty, the ground moved under my feet.

A new home presented itself, one we had looked at over the last several years but seemed out of reach. It just so happened to be up the street from where we planned to build. Connections and plans came easily … and fast! I mean really fast! The day our purchase offer was accepted, a couple was inquiring about our empty lot, they had been watching it sit vacant since our purchase three years prior. They wanted to buy it if we were interested in selling … two days later it was sold and closed two weeks after that. We had our down payment and the rest is history. We moved into our new home six weeks after the ground shifted under our feet. A true miracle!

Now to be honest, it has taken me a good month and a half to really feel the gratitude for this miracle. The experience happened so fast it left my energetic body in disarray. I was happy of course, and anyone who’s moved lately understands I was tired, but the deep sense of gratitude for this incredible blessing took a while. In the meantime, the Universe brought me to my knees two times.

I literally fell to my knees into a full face-plant … not once but twice during our move. It not only bruised my body but my mind and spirit as well. What was going on? What was the message? Upon deep reflection, and working with my healing touch colleague, it became more clear … Divine Mother had delivered my dream in a new wrapping and I had yet to slow down to express my heart’s gratitude… to fall to my knees in appreciation for this gift. With reverence, I first took time to grieve the loss of our previous dream, walked the land of the property down the street, rested my hand on the boulder, on the trees and said goodbye. I walked the land of our new home and said hello to each plant, each tree, to our view, cleansed our house with sage and blessed it with sweet grass — felt the connection to be present with this amazing miracle. I know we were called to this place … or rather pulled, like a vortex opening, swallowing us whole and spitting us out to watch the sunrise over the waters of Merrifield Cove and behind Mount Baker. It has been such an incredible ride!

So now as I dialogue with others facing the challenge of uncertainty, I have my most recent experience to draw upon. Be quiet I say, be still, breathe into the unknown, let it fill you with curiosity, with wonder; trust. Work your way through the uncomfortable sensations of change, of dreams and plans falling away. Let go of attachment to certainty, to our human timing, to control. Only when these limitations fall away, will the Universe recognize the opening. Perhaps your dream will shift and be realized in a new way, perhaps it will die all together and be reborn. All I can truly say, from my heart to yours, is breathe into the change, let go of attachments, find your bliss in the moment of a bird’s song, a moss-covered rock, an orange sunrise, the touch of a loved one’s hand. Be still, trust the Universe, feel the blessing …. And come to your knees in gratitude when the ground shifts under you.

Because it will. It always will.

~Namaste~

What do you do when disappointment comes into your life? How do you handle a change in circumstances that leaves you confused and ungrounded? How do you find your way back? Over the last three months I have been wandering in a depressed and confused state, working my way back from “the rug being pulled out from under my feet.” I have been unable to find the energy or inspiration to write my monthly blog. Yet today, I feel ready once again to share.

As I reflect on these last three months, the specific healing moments have come from being present in my grief, present in my confusion, present in my uncertainty. I am in no way saying these moments were experienced in a state of ease or comfort …. No, I felt uncomfortable in each and every moment. Yet being present has allowed me bit by bit to grab onto those other present moments of awe, of preciousness, of connection, of gratitude. Slowly, these bits began to overtake the broken bits and I felt the trust growing in me once again.

Trusting in the Divine plan of the universe has been my chosen path the last ten years. I have set my intentions clearly and allowed the universe to unfold before me. This time however, my intentions came to an abrupt halt, I no longer had a direction, I was only feeling loss. My forethought has now taken a new shape…. It is not centered around a goal or a plan but rather around being comfortable in a state of uncertainty. This is one of my most challenging adult experiences, feeling uncertain in the present wonder of life.

As a Capricorn, I am most comfortable having a plan, working the plan, being organized, being rooted to a home and a purpose. I am feeling more of my Aquarian moon in these recent months, being more spontaneous, comfortable and open to unpredictability, letting my specific purpose be more mysterious. I believe it is a balancing transformation for me, a personal evolution so to speak to bring myself into a more whole state of being. Circumstances wielded a creative force that propelled me into unknown places within myself. I do believe the universe conspired with my path, even tossing a boulder in my way because I needed one.

So here it is summer and I am being present each day with the experience I am blessed with … I am being open to new situations, building new professional networks, shared dreams being reassembled. It is similar to painting with acrylics… when it doesn’t work, just paint right over the top of what was there and create anew. I paint each day with being present, asking my guides and angels for help, seeking to experience gratitude, trusting the universe will again unfold before me. I realize now that my journey is about Love, when I focus on being and living Love, my experience flows more easily and it weaves a new fabric … I am different now. Everything will be alright.

Blessings and Light … It’s good to be back.

We all have goals, dreams and desires we wish to manifest in our lives. I have a process of manifestation I have found to be extremely helpful that I call The Triad of Manifestation. The triad consists of ACTION, INACTION and INTERACTION.  I have been reflecting recently on several of my own intentions and specifically on the power of INACTION. What could possibly be powerful about inaction you might ask? Let’s explore ….

I have been instructed all my life in order to achieve goals, I must take action. Yes, this is true, there is an element of action required in manifestation. Yet does action require that I am committed to my goal, that I take responsibility for my goal? It can appear that way on the surface but what does it take for a goal to come from my inner core, be sustainable and manifest to its fullest potential? One important step towards feeling a goal from my innermost self is changing my language from goal, dream, desire to “intention.” There is nothing wrong with having goals, dreams and desires, don’t get me wrong … this is where it all begins. I have found for myself, however, that intention brings commitment and responsibility which comes from a different place within me. The active synonyms for intention help illustrate: intent, intentionality, deliberateness, design, calculation, meaning, premeditation, forethought, preplanning. I understand the power of putting my intention into action. Taking specific steps, making plans, organizing is all part of how I take action. So, is that all it takes? Let’s look more closely at another element of the triad, interaction.

I have several confidantes that help me in my interaction towards manifestation. I am often surprised at the depth of understanding I receive when I share my intentions with others. I am not extroverted, and as a modest introvert, interacting with others, verbalizing my intentions often takes courage. Others can have a more objective view and those that I trust always guide me with insight as well as challenging my viewpoint. I had a wonderful experience just this week with a colleague who has only known me this last year. She challenged my thought process in a way to tell me I was still living with an outdated image of myself … she only knows me for how I show up today … this helped me to see that I was holding on to a version of my story, a version of myself, that no longer exists. It was very inspiring and brought me into the present with my intention. Interaction with others can be so helpful, whether one-on-one or in a group. My other processes of interaction include my journal, Hidden Language Hatha Yoga, meditation and reflection. These two legs of the triad probably make sense to you, now what about this inaction element … what could possibly be powerful about inaction?

When I began my journey with yoga over 25 years ago, I struggled with the word surrender. It seemed like such a passive word, a weakness, a place of giving away with no power. Over my years of reflection, growth and maturity, I have come to embrace surrender and all it has to offer. Surrender, faith, trust …. These are the powers of inaction. The third and most forgotten element of the manifestation triad, inaction, is one of strength of spirit. When I completely surrender to my intention, when I have faith and trust in all the aspects that often are beyond my conscious understanding, I fulfill the triad. This comes from the deepest part of who I am, I feel the vibrations of it in my heart center. It is a surrender to that which is out of my control yet operates only when I trust it to be. Accepting that my innate wisdom is as important as my conscious mind and allowing this to be present in my intention allows it to manifest.  Are you able to trust in a higher process that you don’t consciously control? Are you able to allow your will to radiate from a subconscious place? If you are curious how this works in your own life, with respect to your own intentions, I invite you to participate in the following mediation.

~with love and blessings~

The Triad of Manifestation Reflection – allow 15-30 minutes

Sit quietly in a chair, spine straight, left ankle crossed over your right ankle with hands resting on your thighs or cupped gently together in your lap, palms facing upwards. Close your eyes and take three slow deep breaths.

Now bring to mind your Intention. Whether it be a word, a phrase or an image, bring it fully into your mind. Feel your intention radiate throughout your body. Let it consume you.

1.      Bring the word ACTION into your reflection. How do you take ACTION on your Intention? Reflect for several minutes. Write down your thoughts.

Close your eyes. Feel your Intention in your heart center, surrender to your intention. Place your hands on your heart center if you desire.

2.      Bring the word INACTION into your reflection. How to you take INACTION on your Intention? What is the power of INACTION? Reflect for several minutes. Write down your thoughts.

Close your eyes. Feel your Intention radiating outward from your body, feel it returning. Turn your palms outward in a gesture of giving and receiving if you desire.

3.      Bring the word INTERACTION into your reflection. How do you bring INTERACTION into your Intention? Reflect for several minutes. Write down your thoughts.

Close by resting your hands gently on your heart center. Feel gratitude and love for the information that has been received, for your insights and willingness to go within.

The new year has come and I personally have found myself struggling to connect with 2017. In my reflections, the theme that presents itself for this month of January is Acceptance. The holidays of 2016 had elements of loss for me, moving through a new phase of my life, a new phase of my family and children’s lives. Soon this month, America will have a new president and this too feels like a loss. In misfortune, however, there is growth and in growth I find a need to embrace acceptance.

I heard an interesting discussion on a program I was watching last night, two women discussing the unknown future. One said, “The future is dark (meaning unseen, not bleak), so to live life is to bring the Light into the day.” I feel a lot of this uncertainty in the future. The upcoming change in leadership of our country affects me on a deep and visceral level every day. I struggle to not let fear and confusion overtake the Light I wish to bring to my life and to the lives of others. Again, acceptance comes forward, acceptance of what I cannot change.

When I think about acceptance, it can sometimes feel like a giving away that is, to accept means I am not really getting everything I want and desire. There can be truth to that — yet when I look at the larger picture, acceptance can bring harmony, solace and peace. It can change my focus from loss of control and neediness to gratitude and grace. I read a book years ago, about forgiveness. It looked at forgiveness from a different perspective than other popular books and theories (i.e. in order to move on in one’s life, one must forgive). It focused instead on acceptance; forgiveness isn’t always necessary and sometimes it is a lie to one’s self. Acceptance on the other hand is a truth that can be embraced. Truly accepting hurt and harm that has come my way and being present with the understanding of it, brings peace, growth and release.

So, coming full circle, I am willing to accept my new personal chapter as well as this current consciousness that weighs heavy on my heart for our country and my fellow Americans. I accept this is a chapter for growth that is still in the darkness. In my acceptance, I am empowered to be present, to be vigilant in my convictions of what is the Light that I can bring to each day. This power cannot be taken from me. There is healing in acceptance. It is a place of strength to be aware and watchful, to seek to understand, to be ready to put pieces back together when needed, to bring the Light and my healing touch to all I do and to all I meet.

I send blessings to everyone as we move through this new chapter of personal and collective growth. The future is dark, but with acceptance, we can choose to bring Light into the day.

In this Light we will build unity and oneness.

I recently returned from an advanced training class in energy medicine. I learned many new techniques and new aspects of the chakras and energy field that increased my awareness and understanding of how we hold and manifest dis-ease in our lives. Do you know that saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears?” My personal philosophy is: when the student is ready, the information, situation, client, opportunity, challenge appears to help that student consciously evolve. “Teachers” often come to me in different forms. “They” are not always a person, but as of late, a concept of self, a holding that needs release, a belief that needs healing.

The beauty of taking healing courses with other practitioners is that I get to learn new things from the teacher and other students as well as get to work on my own issues as part of the hands on learning. The depth of work can be moving, challenging and so liberating! In my recent class, I was personally working on issues around boundaries, speaking my truth and being heard, my personal power. Many issues for my clients, as well as my own, are rooted in family of origin. What a powerful situation we manifest in our lives – being born into a specific family with its bounty of lessons. Soon after returning from my class, the Universe (bless you) bestowed on me the perfect challenge to hold the energy shift I had uncovered and was learning about. I was ready! I was up for the challenge! And in my ability to be clear, speak my truth, stand in my own power, release and growth was realized.

Personal growth doesn’t happen in a straight line for any of us. I believe it is a magnificent spiral, and as we grow and change, we travel around the spiral, upwards towards consciousness (perhaps some call this enlightenment). I again found myself on the spiral, not on the same loop however, upwards, but again in the same spot/issue. Now on a new level, I looked at the issue from a different perspective. My boundaries were clearer, my voice was easier to find, and my personal power came much more naturally. Do I think this issue is now completed? No. I do recognize I have more work to do. Uncovering the root (so to speak) of my issue around boundaries is a gift and every loop upwards on the spiral enables me to be clearer. I do anticipate the day when this issue can be released to the Universe with a kiss and a wave. Until then, upwards I go!

Om Namah Sivaya